Kids, Ill never understand. I work with them everyday, and somehow without fail, I return home daily with some new reason as to why Ill never have them.
Up until this past week, I thought I'd seen it all. Kids hitting, punching, picking their nose and putting boogers on other people, eating dirt, licking each other, eating an entire plastic spoon, etc. etc. etc. Well Wednesday, a girl named Brianna, showed me I was wrong. So There we were, just me and her, last kid of the day. Ten more minutes of outside time, and kiddie hell would be over. Just as I'm about to take her out front to wait on her mom, I noticed her eating black stuff off her fingers. Curious, as to what this could possibly be, I questioned her. "Brianna what are you eating? Is that dirt? Don't eat dirt, thats nasty, it'll make you sick." She looks at her hands, then looks at me. "It's not dirt. Its poopy." I stop breathing! "Poopy!?....Poopy from what??!!" With the biggest smile I have ever seen, "It's from my hiney!"
Now i know what your thinking. Shes a kid, kids dig in their butt, kids suck on their fingers, no big deal right... WRONG! Very big deal!! Not only did she have sh*t all over her hands, but it was on her shirt, on her pants, in her hair, and in her teeth!!! And just when i thought it couldnt possibly get any worse, her mom comes in. "You wouldn't believe what i found your daughter doing!" "Let me guess, eating her poo" "Yes, actually. How did you know?" "She does it all the time."
WHAT!!! ARE YOU FU*KING KIDDING ME!!